I am thinking that by blogging, I will feel better... I had just had the most terrible month, to the point that I think every day, it can't get much worse...then it does!
Several of you know of my struggles at work, and let me tell you, it is not getting any easier. We are constantly being made to feel that we are incompetent and must always be 'checked on' to see if we are doing what we should. I am asked by my well-meaning-husband why would it matter if I am always doing what I should be. And my only response to him is that I have come to realize (though several less-than-professional conversations) that it doesn't seem to be about doing what I SHOULD be, but doing what one particular person THINKS I should be. Her way or the highway...she doesn't even KNOW about kindergarten (obviously!). Oh! I am so frustrated. I KNOW I am doing a great job in my room. I am seeing a lot of progress so far. I have 2/3 of my class that are considered ELL (English Language Learners--formerly ESL) and if I were to do it 'her' way it would not be as effective for them. I just know it. After another meeting today, my workload literally TRIPPLED in the form of lesson plans (at least 8-10 paragraphs PER DAY) and, oh, so much more....
Then there is the fact that I am so behind in my business it isn't funny. I have had no sneak peeks for anyone in weeks. I have email requests for portrait sessions from 3 weeks ago I haven't responded to yet. But it is hard to complain about the business part...I'll wish I had this much business come January when things slow down. :)
I have fallen behind on blogging about my own family and have had requests from my sweet mother in law several times for new pictures of the girls. It isn't that I don't want to.... Time is just an issue right now. Any extra time I have with them I don't want to be behind the camera. But I will do better. I promise. :)
Then there is my sweet Olivia...........
Many of you know we are suspecting that she has ADHD. Without going into the whole drawn out story, it is really starting to snowball. Her grades are beginning to fall, her confidence is beginning to fade, and she comes home so tired and whiney at the end of the day. I ask her about it and she says she just had a hard day and wants us to hold her. Talk about a kick in the gut! I just want to cry thinking about it. We have an appointment next week with the dr to get things rolling. Her school is much more difficult than her old one, but she can do the work. She is getting 110% on her spelling tests (words ranging from patterned words like pin and hat to other 'bonus' words like Mississippi, and friends). I just hate to see her change so quickly.
Please pray for a quick diagnosis (if necessary) and whatever it takes to get her back in the game as soon as possible. One good thing is that her teacher is wonderful! I can't imagine going through this with anyone else.
I really don't mean to complain...just consider this venting I suppose. I am just sick at my stomach all the time and just really need peace right now. Breathe.........